Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Responding to mean teasing: Advice on how to tell your child to respond

It seems to me that my kids are having social difficulties these days, so I have set off to find practical ways I can help them. This blog will be a log of the ideas I have had, and updates on how I think they worked.

The following comes from the book, "The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends" by Natalie Madorsky Elman, PhD, and Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD. I checked this book out from the library, and it's a gold-mine of practical information on how you can help your child who is having friendship issues. It has profiles for nine different types of children, with practical advice and exercises for each.

So here's what it says about how to respond to mean teasing:

INDIFFERENCE:
Look teaser in the eye with a bored expression, then look away.
Walk away slowly.
CHALLENGE:
“Yeah, so what’s your point?”
“Tell me when you get to the funny part.”
DISGUST:
“Grow up!”
“Tell someone who cares.”
Roll your eyes.
“Who cares what you think”.

If you’re with other friends, or if you have some friendship with the teaser, you could say “Cut it out. I don’t like it when you … “

DON’T SAY TO A TEASER:
“I’m telling.”
“I’m going to tell my mom.”
“You’re going to get in trouble.”
“That’s not nice.”
“You hurt my feelings.”

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